Indeed, I’m a self-confessed super nega when it comes on believing that someone can love me truly and faithfully. Blamed it to those ugly past experiences that made me think true love is not for me. Those ugly past that made me stop believing in FOREVER.
No, I’m not a man hater or what. I still do believed in love. But I only believed it happens to others, not to me. :( I learned to practiced myself to see love as a short term relationship that when one person got exhausted with it, it starts the end of the relationship. I’m not sour graping about love, I’m just realistic.
But sometimes, what we are trying to teach and told our self, deep inside our hearts we know we can never learned it.
Yeah, I started to tried out the “game of love” two years after I’ve been badly broken. I said to myself: "Why don’t give it a try? I was so alone for many years, why don’t give love a chance?" It takes two years to mend my heart, my life and my soul. It was the two years of my life when I got to build the shattered pieces of me. When I started to stand up on my own as a strong woman. I once told my self, "I will be in relationship just for a commitment and just to have someone I can have to be on my side." (Of course, I do love and care for him, but I don’t want to be again helplessly at crazily in love again). I told myself I will leave something for myself this time so if ever I was hurt again, it will not be too deep like the old wound I had.
Luckily, he was a good guy (at least that’s what I believe and I know). He is caring and so sweet. He is the one of the most understanding guy I met - that’s what I really love about him. He accepts my ugly past and accepts and love me for who and what I am. He has a dream - and he includes me in that. And he always try his best to make me happy. And indeed in more than a year that we are together I’m learning to love him more each day. ♥
And you know what, that scares me most. Because I know deep in my heart I’m starting to believe again in love, in forever. And I’m so scared that maybe I fall again hard. I’m scared to be hurt again badly by the person I loved most.
Yeah, it really scares me. But I won’t let the bad past ruin the beautiful plan Lord has for me. I know whatever happens to me it is according to the plan of the Lord. He has His purpose. He has His own reason. Bad things happens to us for us to be able to learned different things, in able to be stronger and in able to know our limits and our worth. God has prepare me for something big that He let me go wounded first so the next time I can cherish His blessings. I believed: "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" - Nelson Mandela.
Whenever I’m scared and feel like crying, I always keep this bible verse in mind: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29:11
Have a peaceful heart every one! For you know God is always with us.^_^
Tiwala lang.. ♥
Minsan iniisip ko ano ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko?
- Gusto kong maging Photographer
- Gusto ko din maging Events Coordinator at Wedding Planner
- Gusto ko din mag-business ng resto & cafe
- Gusto ko maging writer ng mga books na naipupublish (yung pwede din gawin movies)
- Gusto ko mag-trip around the world
- Gusto ko maging asawa at magkaroon ng mabuting asawa
- Gusto ko mag-kaanak at bumuo ng isang masayang pamilya na puno ng pagmamahal
Andami kong gusto, but lately naisip ko gusto ko din pala tumira at mag-work sa abroad, Australlia in particular (nandun din kasi best friend ko) at naisip at nakonsider ko yung mga bagay na yun ng malaman kong pwede ko pala makasama yung taong mahal ko. Bigla-bigla lumakas ang loob ko. Kasi alam ko kasama ko siya. ^_^
Ikaw ano ba ang gusto mo? :)"
Sana makita ko na yung taong mamahalin ako habambuhay.
Yung taong tatanggapin ako kung anuman at sinuman ako,
yung tanggap ang mga kahinaan ko at ang nakaraan ko.
Yung taong walang ibang mamahalin kundi ako lamang.
At yung taong hindi gugustuhin akong masaktan..
Sana kasama ko na siya ngayon..sana..
It’s been so many months since I last updated my FB (Facebook). And aminado akong madami talaga akong balita na na-missed. The top 3 of it was from my close friend and best friend.. And I wanna share this to you.
1) The death of my pretty friend Jam. :’(
Although I know she is diagnosed by cancer, I never saw death will come. Because I know Jam is a fighter and an optimistic person. I believe that she will overcome all the pain and obstacles she is battling right now. But maybe God has His own purposes why she take Jam early. Wherever she is right now I know she is already happy in God’s embrace. Free from any pain and sadness, only pure love and happiness from God. I wish her family especially his husband will overcome the loss and sadness. I indeed became so sad upon hearing the news through my boyfriend (they are office mates, still). Jam is one of the person I really admire because of her beauty is not just on the outside but her inner beauty really shines out. I will really miss this girl.. Rest in peace Jam…
2) My best friend is ENGAGED!!! :))
I already knew my best friend Tyn from Australia has plans on getting married. But seeing her being engaged is a different story. Nakakakilig! :) I’m so happy for her. Since we were young it is our dream to get married with right person and now she’s slowly fulfilling that dream. Well, way to go! We will follow.. hehe! His fiance Mark proposed to her on one of the significant lighthouse on Australia, on Cape Otway Lighthouse. I was so happy for both of them. By the way, their planning their wedding here in Philippines on January 2016. And guess what?! I’m the Maid of Honor! :) Well I hope I could also married on that same year. :)
3) Maan has a TWINS! :)
It’s been so long since I heard of my “mare” Maan, that is what we used to call each other even though we are not real kumares in real life. Well not for long till their twins will come out. I was so suprised upon hearing the news of the result of ultrasound they will have TWINS! WOW! so amazing! I never really thought that our mahinhin tropa could bear a twins! hehe! We I’m so happy for them with his hubby. I hope I could see the twins soon. ^_^
Well that is the news I knew upon opening my FB. Grabe talagang andami mo mamimissed pag walang FB..hehe! Just sharing my bitter sweet news today. Thanks for listening.
Age is not really the sole basis of readiness for marriage. Sometimes, you’re 18 but you’re still willing to have the needed commitment while 50-somethings may not be so certain about it. Here are common signs you’re not yet ready to face the next big chapter of your life:
1. You’re in unsteady relationships
Your on-and-offs are bad signs that you can’t handle a relationship – whether it has been your fault, or not; but that doesn’t always mean that if you’re in a long-term relationship, you’re good to go. The notion is that if you can’t handle the worst from a person now, you really can’t handle it even more in the period of marriage where problems are bigger and more complicated.
2. You’re just pressured
Are all your folks walking down the aisle? Or you’ve been so romantic about these trending stage wedding proposals? Or you’re expecting a baby now? If that’s the case, forget about marriage because you’re just pressured. Don’t let external burden and pressure interfere your life decisions because after all, it’s your life and not anyone else’s.
3. You’re still romantically-in-love with your partner
Some experts say that if you’re past the romantic love, then you’re ready to go. Most new lovers are still in the stage of getting to know each other, everyday praises, every minute of texting, dreamy dates and all romantic things. This is not to say that when you’re married, you can’t do all these. It’s just that when you say “I do”, you have more priorities and responsibilities that is far more important than being passionate about your partner.
4. You have unstable income
The unwritten golden rule is that you should have at least three months-worth of survival money in your bank account, but if you really want to get married, you should have more – and that doesn’t matter whether you’re the man or the lady. Financial stability before marriage will help you on, at least, the first year of your marriage. When you start to live on your own, all expenses are coming your way – everyday – and that will increase over time as you move along with your life. These include house rents or home mortgages, maternal expenses,babies, education, retirement funds and a whole lot more. If you think you’re not emotionally and financially ready for all these expenses, you’re not ready yet for marriage.
5. You have trust issues
Trust is one of the many foundations of a picture-perfect marriage. If you have unusual trust issues that always trouble your mind, there might have been a big, unbearable problem in the future as you go along with your future spouse. Help yourself first on overcoming what worries you so you could come anew when you want to have a good start.
6. You’re unwilling to compromise
Marriage is a never-ending process of compromise. If you don’t win a certain argument, then it’s your partner’s victory – it’s just yours and your partner’s. It’s okay to stand by your dispute but it’s also important to listen, settle your thoughts and accept what needs to be accepted. Practice finding the middle of the ground on all your life decisions and you’re ready to go.
7. You have no big-picture plans
Wedding is just a one-day thing. After that is another chapter of your life yet to be discovered. If you’re just looking at the wedding day itself, then you’re screwed. It is important to have a plan from day 1 of your marriage. If it’s not your thing, you’re not yet good to start a life of your own.
The “When you know, you know” is vague. Marriage is something you have to be prepared about – physically, emotionally, and financially.